Chap 1 from LIFE AS PLAY by Nik List (audio and full text) – Reading time: 6 min

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PART 1 — THE COMPETITION MODEL

Our 21st century Western societies run on a model of growth and competition. Could there be an alternative?

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The competitive paradigm lies at the core of our thinking and our structures. Rivalry, ownership, acquisition, comparison. A zero-sum game with discrete units in which one’s benefit is another’s loss.

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We rationalize our experience and interpret the world through the lens of competition. Natural selection, education institutions, business ventures, sports events, culture, art, intimate relationships, algorithms and online behavior.

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We perceive ourselves and relate to each other through competition, both individually and collectively. My body vs your body. My baby vs your baby. My child vs your child. Our company vs your company. My people vs your people. My nation vs your nation. The model runs deep.

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Could there be another model? Not only from an economic perspective. The point here is not to pit capitalism against socialism. This isn’t about taxes, healthcare, or free markets. The paradigm lies beyond economic thinking. It’s the way we play the physical game. What is our cosmology of the Universe? What implications could another model have on our relationships, our work ethics, and, broadly speaking, on the way we live our lives?

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The upcoming texts will explore an alternative.

PART 2 – COMPETITION OR PLAY?

Is competition the same as play? One might say that play is competitive and, conversely, that all competition is playful. But are they the same spirit?

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Let’s use a board game analogy to contrast both models. Any board game, be it Monopoly or another, can be approached in a competitive spirit or in a playful spirit. The game is the same, but the players’ mindsets can differ considerably between models A and B:

MODEL A

Competitive players take the game seriously. Stakes (the paper bills, the plastic tokens) are real and warrant the struggle. Luck and happenstance are discounted. The game’s purpose is to reveal players’ skills through elimination. Rules of the game are sacrosanct and pyrrhic victory takes precedence over everything else. Players invest their sense of identity in the game: outcomes are experienced as personal achievements or failures.

MODEL B

The playful spirit proceeds with levity, laughter and detachment. Stakes are merely a MacGuffin — an excuse to be there and enjoy a moment together. These players don’t get lost in the game. Outcomes don’t constitute a melodramatic matter of life and death. Concepts such as ‘winner’ or ‘loser’ aren’t co-opted by the ego. The board game is just cardboard, paper and plastic. All the rest is a fantasy of the mind.

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Both players may deem the game to be ‘fun’. Personality types and notions of ‘fun’ can vary. Some people are more competitive by nature. Competitive sports constitute a staple of our civilization. We relish taking part in such events and watching them on TV. But can such a paradigm be applied to a human life? Is competition the best lens to interpret the complex nature of the world?

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Professional athletes have relatively short careers. A human lifespan, in comparison, is much longer. Which model, A or B, is more enjoyable over the course of 80 years? If we are to live our lives by a model, which one would you pick? Which one is more emotionally sustainable?

PART 3–FIVE TENETS OF THE COMPETITIVE MODEL

Life isn’t serious; it’s only play. Why turn it into a competition? 🤷 Competition is for sports, not for happiness.

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Let’s consider 5 tenets of the competitive framework.

COMPETITIVE TENET 1–STRUGGLE

The competitive model presents life as a struggle. The selfish gene, the survival of the fittest, the ruthless selection. It’s a binary narrative with two categories: winners and losers. Combined with consumerism and materialism, winning defines your worth, which is tied to your wealth. Meritocracies claim that success is a by-product of talent and hard work. ‘Meritocratic’ has a karmic twist: in such a narrative, so-called ‘losers’ have only themselves to blame for their ‘failure’.

COMPETITIVE TENET 2–SUFFERING

In the competitive model, suffering constitutes a virtue. The more you suffer, the harder you’re trying, the more worthy you are. Being overwhelmed becomes a civic duty and a badge of honor. I don’t have time > I am busy > I am important > I am needed > I am better than you. If you’re basking on a park bench in the middle of the day, something is wrong. We jam pack our Tetris-like schedules, we multitask until we burn out, and we flog our bodies until they break down. That’s the competitive playbook.

COMPETITIVE TENET 3–THE FUTURE

Religions promise post-mortem bliss. Consumerism commodifies that promise, rebrands heaven as happiness, and sells it for cash online. Competition relies on incentives — buy this, achieve that, reach for this, aim for that. In competition, the purpose of action always lies in the future. The present can only be a means to an end. We live in permanent anticipation, a perpetual fantasy about the future — the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the year, the holiday, retirement. We spend our lives chasing rainbows. When the anticipated event finally arrives, it becomes the present, we discard it and switch the fantasy.

COMPETITIVE TENET 4–SERIOUS

When athletes and artists turn their passion into their profession, we say that they become ‘serious’. By that, we mean that the stakes become real. This alleged seriousness requires a change in mindset, one that squares with new considerations (financial, promotional, priorities, etc.). Likewise, in intimate relationships, romance usually begins as playful courtship and gradually moves towards a ‘serious’ relationship. The competitive model dismisses play as immature. In such a framework, play is only a stepping stone and must lead to serious ‘maturity’.

COMPETITIVE TENET 5–SEPARATION

Competition implies comparison which requires separation. Two nations can only compete if they exist. A line needs to be traced in the sand and someone needs to claim that the line marks the border between two nations. Humans, unlike fauna and flora, take the concept of nation seriously. They design flags, compose national anthems, and take pride in being born on either side of the line. Non-duality questions that assumption: are we really separate beings? A nation is a tenuous concept. Does separation exist outside of the mind? If the same life force runs through everything in nature, what separation is there?

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Those are the 5 tenets of the competitive model — separation, struggle, seriousness, suffering, and incentives.

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Let’s now consider an alternative to that framework.

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PART 4–FIVE TENETS OF THE PLAYFUL MODEL

Life needn’t be competitive. It can simply be play. Most conflicts vanish once we cease taking ourselves (and the world) too seriously.

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Let’s contrast the playful model with the competitive model.

PLAYFUL TENET 1–SINCERE, NOT SERIOUS

In the playful model, the game is honored but it isn’t serious. To quote Alan Watts, it’s sincere, not serious. A good game, une bonne guerre, good sportsmanship — implies playfulness. Giving it your best, playing sincerely, without getting caught up in the outcome. As spectators, we watch thrillers or horror flicks, and we relish the tension between the reality of our feelings and the knowledge that it’s only play on screen. We can approach life in the same way. As we move into the backseat and witness the unfolding, the drama loses its edge. Most conflicts vanish once we cease taking ourselves (and the world) too seriously.

PLAYFUL TENET 2–WIDER PERSPECTIVE

When children get caught up in their game and break out in tears, we remind them that it’s only play. Playfulness adopts a wider perspective. It reframes situations and holds them in a larger context. When adults tussle, who’s there to break it up, dry their tears, and remind them that it’s only a game? Even in the worst traffic jam, in the most deplorable conditions, in the face of great suffering, playfulness remains in the background. Can we remember this when disturbed by someone? Can we refrain from reactivity and widen our perspective?

PLAYFUL TENET 3–SAFE

What’s the worst that could happen in a game? I could lose my house, get cancer, and die alone. Indeed. But is that happening now? Whether you frame those potential events as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ depends on your perspective. We all share the same outcome: no one triumphs over death. In a theater play, characters also suffer and die. Is the actor ever endangered? If the actor were the character, the tragedy would indeed be tragic. But the tragedy is a play. The actor enjoys playing with death and drama every night. Likewise, in life, roles come and go, bodies decay and die. Do you identify with any of it? Who are you really? What is your true, immutable essence?

PLAYFUL TENET 4–THE PRESENT

Competition denigrates the present and focuses on future outcomes. Play, on the contrary, takes place in the process, in the now. Concerns about ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ lie in the future. In the present moment, there are no such concepts — there’s only a happening. Watch children as they play with their toys. Observe the intensity of someone immersed in the moment. Artists sketching landscapes are enthralled in the observation. Athletes, gamers, caregivers… As Alan Watts notes, ‘the real secret of life is to be completely engaged with what you’re doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.’

PLAYFUL TENET 5–ONENESS

Competition, like a scientific experiment, separates in order to measure and compare. Play does the opposite. Play is all-encompassing, cohesive. A choreography falls flat if dancers don’t gel and become one. Acting sounds contrived when actors don’t listen to each other. The same applies to all interactions in life. Play is interplay, action is interaction, acting is reacting, a coalescence of the components. In order to congeal, the constituents need to be present — observing, listening. Actors and athletes use techniques and games to bring their focus into the present. It’s all meditation. The present moment is the door to experiencing and being in sync with all that is. Behind the illusion of 10,000 things, there is only One.

CONCLUSION

Like a Rorschach blot, the distinction between both models, competition and play, depends on the focus. All games can be played in a competitive or a playful spirit. Both models have their merits. It’s up to us to decide how we use them.

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In the sports business, competition makes sense. The rules are set, the contenders partake willingly. But can such a model be applied to the complexities of life? And, above all, does this model lead to happiness? To quote tennis player Taylor Fritz, ‘It’s tough to be happy in tennis because every single week everyone loses. Everyone but one person.’