My head and heart stand worlds apart 🤪

🦋
LYRICS
My head and heart stand worlds apart
One is a beast
The other’s a priest
I really don’t know where to start
My heart is wise, kind, affable
My head is wretched, cruel, horrible
One is a chatterbox
Groaning under locks
The other pounds, knocks
And gradually rots
I’m a walking paradox
My heart cultivates patience
While the mind’s simply shameless
Heart sees love everywhere
Mind sees the world as warfare
I need a new emoji
the opposite of a smiley
The opposite of a selfie
Something gritty,
Something basically saying ‘kill me’
🦋
Gimme a spiritual lobotomy
Some kind of something to set me free
You can leave a gun under my bed
Maybe for fun I’ll put to my head
I’m a ticking time bomb
Well, let’s see, what could go wrong?
My body’s basically anarchy
I need bodily democracy
My inner world is a child
Constant quarrel, it’s wicked and wild
My insane mind is vile, and
It’s been this way for a while
🦋
I finally took the lead
I made a covenant
I built my own government
Even made a chart
Thought it was a good start
I set boundaries, rule of law
After all, I thought
‘This is my territory, so it’s my call’
I gave heart and head their own estate
Thought everything would be great
But then it started to deteriorate
Black sunshine and dead roses
Criminality became explosive
Strolled through parted seas like Moses
Conflicts lead to wars
The Mind always wants more
I got to the end of my rope
Dejected, I lost all hope
So, I divorced my body
I split with the game driving me insane
We parted ways, ditched the craze
Set off to better days
I now watch it all from afar
Emotions drifting in the sky
Thoughts passing by
I’m no longer tied to brats and beasts
Packed my bags, paid the lease
I’m nowhere to be found
Changed my name
Changed my game
I stand on new grounds
I’m Mr Nobody.
Some people are happily married
Some are happily divorced
Just let life follow its course
🦋
I’m no different than any other
Just a brother from another mother
Sick with chains in my brain
I self inflict homemade pain
Born with war in my heart,
I was a newborn
Torn from the start
Stuck speaking in tongues
I was Sisyphus climbing the rungs
I cultivate moral ambiguity
I’m kindness and I’m cruelty
Conflicting desires and instincts
I rewire my fetishes and kinks
I find light in shadows
I fight the war, flee the battle
My psyche’s growing wild
Acting like a spoiled child
I’m both judgment and compassion
Cultivate contraction and expansion
I live with hunger in my soul,
I get younger as I get old
I might be depraved
But At least I’m not a slave
I tried isolation and I tried connection
What am I inside? Try a C section
I’m both pride and humility
I’m all but consistency
Revenge and I’m mercy, maybe
Rough on the edges but sturdy
I’m cynicism and I’m hope
My so-called nihilism is a joke
freedom and I’m possession
I feed on sins, and I need redemption
I’m relentless; I’m stillness
Resentment and forgiveness
I’m the accuser and the accused,
The judge, the warden, the dame
And the abused
Nothing to pay
Nothing to prove
That’s my game
That’s my groove
🦋