Music and lyrics by Nik List. Available on Spotify, Apple Music and all other platforms.
LYRICS
This heart beats a bomb
that’ll blow me apart.
My hopes are now gone
My chances are shot
The clock in my chest dictates my pace
Maybe it’s grace
maybe it’s waste
I hear this clock tick,
I hear the bells toll
Maybe I’m sick
then again — what would I know?
So I go with the flow,
witness the countdown
The sickness is slow
but somehow I know that it’s sound
My circuitry connects me with stars in space.
Oh, dear nurse,
Is that a curse?
Do I need a hearse?
or do I need grace?
Who am I?
A guy or a lie?
I only rent this body,
I is not it — It is not me
When this body is sit, I surrender—
I leave the key
stand up and run free
I’m haunted by a ghost — or is it a guest?
An uninvited host
sucking my blood
and hacking my chest
He tackles my bones,
rattles my brains
I live 24/7 with these shackles,
But I’m not here to complain
I play poker with zombies at the morgue
I pay rent to the broker at death dot org
I’m talking to a joker
but I called for the Lord
I’m just a bipolar monkey
Hanging from a cord
Swinging a sword
I run a tight ship,
I keep it ship-shape
I’ve tightened my grip
But there’s nowhere to escape
This heart is a bomb.
It’ll blow me apart.
It’s not right
It’s not wrong,
it’s only an art
I wish my morals were solid,
I wish they were set in stone
but I am merely a mortal,
and I am — all alone
They say life is short –
I say it’s long
It’s not sane, not a sport,
not even a song
The beat keeps me sober,
life’s running out.
I was never a soldier,
And I certainly was never a scout.
What’s left for me to do?
Get down on my knees and pray?
Even if I got through,
I don’t even know what I’d say
I’d say
This isn’t a body
It’s only a beat.
I’d tell em
Don’t search for a soul
cause you’ll only find mold and meat
Body for rent, comes with a heart
The brain may be bent
And the pain is still sharp
This clock is my beat,
The knock is my bell
I’m warden of the deep,
In this garden of hell.
I’ve played all my cards
But I still have an ace.
I’m a long windy river,
running through space.
I tried counting sheep,
But I’m left healing scars
For I am the black sheep
And my heart beats in bars.
